The Corrupted Wish - April Edition!

Granted. but you lose your legs in a tragic tricycle accident involving prescription drugs and alcohol.

I wish I discover a natural food that reduces weight loss to whatever the person who eats it desires.

Granted, but the food causes an inverse rise in flatulence for every pound lost.

I wish I could speak every language in the world, including Dog.

Granted. It has a previously unknown side effect that makes you grow a tail and causes your poop to be the size of cucumbers.

I wish my parrot would grow arms and learn to build a fire.

Granted, but he decided you were a witch and went on to burn you at the stake.

I wish i was all-knowing.

Granted, but then you would find there is no meaning to life without the thrill of discovery, and youd shoot yourself a week later in the bath tub

I wish buses didn't hit people

granted, but all the buses stop hitting people only because THEY ALL BROKE DOWN. no better yet, they all DISSAPPEARED.

I want $300 in gems.

Granted but the guy got the calender mixed up its 12/22/12 .
i wish i had magical powers witch made me invisible.

same here. but what can you do? But to buy a new computer. Me can't afford a new Computer.

granted. But now you realize you are incorporeal as well.

I wish I had a purple unicorn/Pegasus named Leslie that telepathically communicates with me.

Granted, but leslie is a horrible 'person' and won't stop bombarding your mind with reprehensible comments.

I wish my spacebar was working properly.