The Corrupted Wish - April Edition!

granted, but it begans to control you and eventually your mind explodes

i wish i was max level in this game

I wish the settler called knight.

Granted, but the knight decides that he must fulfill his destiny and gets carried away by a dragon.

I wish that fruit would be more plentiful.

Granted but you have no adventures and your scouts come back with nothing but map fragments.

I wish I could level already.

Granted, you gain 5 lvls, but then we have another roll back and you lose 10. with no compensation for your losses. :(

I wish my keyboard woudl stop sticking and i could type properly

Granted, but your computer crashes and you have to go to the public library to manage your account with a 1 hour a day time limit

I wish I would get off probation already

Granted. You are off probation, but only cause they found crimes in other states and you are being sent there for sentencing.

I wish there my computer didn't suck so much.

Granted at the library!
I wish I could pick how I age.

I wish I had a general that is like an npc boss instead of the weakling we have!

Granted but unfortunately your electric is shut off.

I wish my explorer would find a huge gold ore deposit.

Granted but hes too awesome for the game to handle so the game crashes(again)

I wish my mines would stop running out on me as soon as i get my production working great.

Granted. However the mines' production times are doubled, so you need twice as many

I wish trades would always be accepted within 5 minutes of an offer being sent

Granted, but the resorces will be added hours later to your storehouse.
I wish i had a PC that would not need new upgrades.

Granted, But next playable games won't allow your PC to compatible with
I wish i had all the time in the world to do everything.

Granted, but you get hit by a car and cant do anything, and spend the rest of you life eating out of a tube.

I wish, I could travel back in time.

Granted, however you are terrible at navigating the time stream and end up in 14th century England where you die from the Black Death because you never paid attention to your history classes.

I wish I was immune to food comas.

Granted, if you wont to be iimmune to food commas , stop eating junk

'i wish i'd used a condom'

granted, but because of this you manage to eat so much you rupture your stomach.

i wish i had 20/20 vision

Granted but your account got hacked

I wish i had infinite money

Granted, but all your butchers collapse. I wish I had a second island.

Granted, but your island has become corrupted and you can't log in anymore.
I wish for half of my empire to be filled with watermills.

Your wish has been granted only because everyone get's free watermills...
I wish to be chosen to be a winner of this contest.

Granted, But you won't able to get online
I wish i would have fastest internet possible.

Your wish has been granted but it will only work on a wooden personal computer.

I wish I have a gem mine.

Granted, But there will be no workers to work on that mine.
I wish i could play this game faster than anyone else.

Granted, you are fastest. The game is still the same speed so it seems to take years to find coal.

I wish I had never heard of Adele.

granted, but only because a steel beam goes through your head causing permanant memory loss forever.

I want my resources to build 4x faster

Granted, But none of your workers want to work in your buildings so eventually you are out of resources.
I wish for unlimited gems for this game.

I wish for steady job

Granted, but you'll be a cleaning tech for a proctologest.

I wish for a good steak to be granted by UBI Soft

granted but the steak is burned to a crisp and u break all ur teeth off trying to eat it.

i wish my dog could play this game with me so we could battle on even ground.

Granted, but the Rabbids start stealing your resources.

I wish it didn't cost so many coins to level up buildings.

Granted but they start charging even more granite

I wish I could pay off all my in-game debts

Granted, But debts are payed only by your death.

I wish i win this game.

Granted but there are strange consequences like the General's horse stepping in your fisherman's boat.

I wish that trades were consistent

Granted,but from now on, every time you exit this game, you die slowly, but steadily.

I wish I had a Granite miner and mine

Granted, you'll only have granite in your storehouse but u'll lack other resources
I wish i didn't had to wait for resources production

Granted, but you are too poor, guilds only millionaires!

i wish to join a guild for free.

Granted, but it's a guild of beggers, and your storehouse is now purpetually empty.

I wish all the eggs from this event were made from dark chocolate!

Granted but you get so caught up playing the game you forget to pay your eleectric bill and it takes 2 weeks for them to come out and turn your electricity back on.

I wish I was a little bit taller.