Corrupted Wish September Edition

Granted, but now you have everyone bothering you to buy them gem items that you get so annoyed you blow your brains out!

I wish for 5000 gold coins

Granted, but now there are bandits trying to steal them.

I wish for a resource generator.

Granted, However since you work 24/7 and go away to battle all the time you leave the kids fatherless.
I wish new settlers to arrive faster to give the widows of our fallen soldiers another chance.

Wish granted, but when they arrive they steal all your Stealing From the Rich adventures and run off to join Sir Robin and his merry band of men (your new settlers cannot resist a swashbuckling young man in green tights).

I wish each Recruit only required one bronze sword.

Granted, but the bronze swords do no damage against dog enemies.
I wish I had more hair on my head and less grey in it.

Granted, but now your hair permanently looks like Beavis's hair and there isn't a thing a barber will ever be able to do about it.

I wish I had a punch bowl full of nachos.

Granted, you know have jerry curls and redo the michael jackson pepsi commericial w the same results, you set ur head on fire.

I wish the new advens would come out already.

Granted, your punch bowl of nachos comes w some habenaro peepers givin u killer heartburn so u land in the infermary.

I wish you a speady recovery.

Granted, but to speed my recovery the Navy makes all food bland and barely edible so everyone eats less of it. (And now you all know the story!)

I wish Trade Tab had an "Are you kidding me?" button next to the "Send Trade Request" button so everyone could see vote/see right off the bat where all the ridiculous offers are.

Granted, but people lie and the trades are really bad and you get ripped off

I wish my friend would come online again