Corrupted Wish September Edition

Granted. However, you are no longer here since the only way to find out is to be one of the people at that moment. Hope it was worth the cost.

I wish I could do the Halloween event with a mask on my avatar and a spooky background.

granted but your mask is hello kitty and all your leave because they are scared of back ground

i wish i was king of the world

Granted, but you wind up freezing to death in the middle of the ocean. You die with the knowledge that if only the gal you have been chasing after the last two days was a little less plump, you could have gotten onto the floating wardrobe too without sinking it and therefore lived.

I wish we could breathe underwater.

Granted. While you look like Aquaman, you soon find walking on the bottom of the ocean is not romantic at all when mucus streams are the reality.

I wish my new keyboard was easier to use even if it is waterproof.

Granted, your keyboard is so easy to use your fingers FLY across the keyboard! Sadly, your fingers can move with such speed and efficiency that your brain cannot keep up and when you type it looks like sadfjaskldfja;slf udfhgierhg i;ejhvlodg8xg. While people certainly like you better this way, nobody can understand what you are typing. Your doctoral thesis doesn't pan out so well.

I wish stop signs would quit eyeballing me with suspicion.

Granted. No more will stop signs ogle you and anticipate you coming to a rolling stop. But the cameras installed in every pole holding the stop signs will continue to stare you down and make you feel like you are already guilty.

I wish I had a convertible again and could go out without my top up on beautiful days.

Granted, but it is unusually buggy whenever you take your car out. Your friends are too polite (or chicken) to say anything to your face, but secretly they cackle and giggle about you behind your back, saying all the still live insects in your windblown hair make you look like some sort of modern-day Medusa.

I wish people would stop arguing about whether or not it is ok to use a knife to split "fork-split" english muffins.

Granted. Now all english muffins will come with instructions. If the instructions are not followed to the letter...the english muffins will explode all over the kitchen. (Wonder if I can use those to my advantage for "tricks" on Hallween?!)

I wish I could eat poached eggs over english muffins with hollandaise sauce.

Granted, but while you are eating your poached eggs a kid at the carnival hits the target with a baseball and you fall into the tank of english muffins and hollandaise sauce.

I wish, when catching one with your face, softballs were actually soft.

Granted. Now the game has taken a drastic turn. No more pop flies and line drives. No more catcher, second baseman, or outfielders. The balls are made of marshmallows and the bats are roasting sticks. You do not catch them in a glove, you skewer them on your stick. The ticket to first base is when you light your softball on fire at home plate and make it to first with it still lit. First baseman can blow it out or stomp it out (which is still an out for the team). A homerun consists of graham crackers and chocolate wrapped around the ball. It is presented to the Ump waiting at home. After I eat it...I mean after the Ump eats it...it will be determined to be a point or not depending on the quality and the temperature. (Cold softballs mean no score and automatic out.)

I wish I had some S'mores.