Corrupted Wish September Edition

[navytac]

Granted, but the fact that you made and lit your S'mores while sitting at a table at Denny's is a dead giveaway to the police that you are drunker than a skunk. Well that, the fact that you didn't notice the four cops in the next table, and the puddle of urine at your feet. You never even get to eat your S'mores because you are in cuffs so fast. You try later to recreate the S'mores in jail, but jailhouse tuna casserole and a fruit cup don't really make for good substitute ingredients. Your are written out of absolutely everyone's will.

I wish for Taco Bell to use actual beef and chicken in their items, so I can stop feeling so guilty about eating chihuahua.

[Zynnia7277]

Granted. You will never feel guilty about eating a huahua dog again because you are a pit bull and some are born without a conscience. However, you need to answer the subpoena from Barbara Walters who is requiring you to submit to a DNA test for her lawsuit.

I wish I could study MRI's of the brains playing The Settlers Online all day long. Fascinating.

[billy1975]

granted. but now the other food chains runs them out of buissness (old mc donald had a farm but probly no horses)
i wish you could purchase a town drunk from the tavern that pops up at times with funny little things to surprise the players,, be funny to send him to your friends island stumbling thru wheat fields and sinking boats

[navytac]

Granted. You will never feel guilty about eating a huahua dog again because you are a pit bull and some are born without a conscience. However, you need to answer the subpoena from Barbara Walters who is requiring you to submit to a DNA test for her lawsuit.

I wish I could study MRI's of the brains playing The Settlers Online all day long. Fascinating.

Granted, and in a twist of backwards irony, the images from all angles look like Rorschach tests. The bad news is, they were looking at *your* brain.

I wish fish food was actually yummy, because believe me it isn't.

[Zynnia7277]

Granted. Fish food now tastes like a gourmet delicacy with a hint of saffron. The fish are in direct competition for the food since the foodies have developed a taste for the unusual delight. Fish are dying in large numbers due to the stress and inability to feed. Soon there is no need for fish food. Happy now?!

I wish I had studied the life of a beta fish before I killed a few. (Who knew they would sit at the bottom of the bowl and blow bubbles to attract females then die when no females came and their master kept cleaning the bowl?!)

[navytac]

Granted, you studied everything about your beta fish, but the events didn't change. You knew better, and didn't intervene. You have leapfrogged regular evil, and gone on to wicked. The few that wrote you back into their wills, wrote you back out again. Having counted on inheritances, you realize you have to rearrange your finances, and you realize you can only afford to eat at Denny's when you eat out. However, they remember you and you are banned from there -- forever.

I wish people that drove cars with standard transmissions could do so without being smug or preachy about it.

[Zynnia7277]

Granted. I won't be...I mean...people that drive cars with standard transmissions are not smug or preachy to you anymore. Instead they pull up beside you and do nothing, but you know with your fully automatic transmission in the deep snow...the "granny" gear will win every time. Hmmm...even without the snow.

I wish people would leave my relatives out of this and concentrate on my pretty blue eyes (bat bat).

[navytac]

Granted, ppl come from far and wide to stare into your baby blues, every day all day. Well, almost all day. A couple hours after lunch every day, for about 15 minutes, light comes in from the museum windows and glares off the jar in a way that makes your pretty eyes difficult to see.

I wish, once a month, you could go into a public library and scream your lungs out and have it not be against any rules.

[Zynnia7277]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sorry...where were we?!

Granted. Once a month the librarian is said to put ear plugs into her ears because she cannot tolerate the sound of the jackhammers working on the cement outside trying to find Jimmy Hoffa's body...again. The people turn their backs to her and scream to their hearts' content. They have broken no rules.

I wish they would find Jimmy Hoffa once and for all.

[navytac]

Granted. You are disappointed to know that he is still alive, and instead of being punished for all of his mob crimes he actually made a lot of money in the 80's starring on the then-popular show Golden Girls.

Every high school has those few dudes that sported full-on mustaches by the time they were fourteen years old. Invariably, they all got jobs in high school doing things like road construction, roofing, plumbing, air conditioning repair. Twenty years later, they all had the same jobs they did in high school. None of them ever seemed to go to college. I wish to know why that is.