Granted. You are the sexiest bearded lady in the world!Originally Posted by LadyTerra
I wish my food would scream in pain as I chewed it.
Granted. You are the sexiest bearded lady in the world!
I wish my food would scream in pain as I chewed it.
Granted, but only you can hear it. When you try to tell others they put you in the psych ward where in time even you start to believe that you are crazy.
I wish that Scouser wasn't so sadistic
Granted, but you take his place.
I wish I had a new motorcycle.
Granted, but all of the fuel capable of powering it suddenly disappears.
I wish I could change the past.
Granted, but since you cant change everything, you might as well as not.
I wish for a realy advanced spaceship.
Granted, but it is so advanced that you can't fly it since no one can figure out how to make it work.
I wish spring break were longer.
Granted, but you have to spend the duration of said break locked in a room with drunken frat boys and their plastic sorostitutes - all of whom constantly scream "WHOOOOOOOO!!!!" in your face until you are bleeding from the ears and praying for death.
I wish I had a pet Sasquatch.
Granted, but it breath is so bad that you pass out from the stench whenever you get close to it.
I wish I had night vision.
Granted, but you forgot the batteries.
I wish for a golden ticket.
Granted. You've been invited to visit The Factory! Upon exiting the tour you are accosted and kidnapped by Arthur Slugworth, who chains you to an operating table and tortures you until you give him the recipe for the Everlasting Gobstopper - which, of course, was impossible for you memorize. You are returned to your loved ones in a series of shoe boxes and coffee cans.
I wish I could brew the world's best cup of coffee...
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