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Thread: Letter Writing Day

  1. #11
    Recruit jedi4dinner's Avatar
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    May 2015
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    banished to Earth
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    14
    World
    Zeus

  2. #12
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    Zeus
    Avast Crazy Cook,
    Yer days be numbered me wicked bucko!
    T' th' Davy Jone's locker will be yer bones along with yer island o' Corsair maties.

    Vengence be mine!
    GrandpaBruce

  3. #13
    Settler
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    Jan 2013
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    USA
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    Mayor John Axe
    John Axe Island
    September 1, 1350

    Gottfried Schneider, aka Valiant Little Tailor

    Dear Mr. Schneider:

    I have reviewed your requested job description amendments. For the reasons below, I must decline all of them.

    You provide exemplary service as an Adventure Coordinator. Your coworkers confirm you are a gentleman always, and are thoroughly knowledgeable about smashing enemy camps.

    You requested set hours of employment during the week, rather than being on call. We must continue sending you once the army is refitted. If we allow you to take off weekends, the army could reach maximum size without being sent. Such a circumstance reduces our economy’s efficiency. Accordingly, we need your employment to remain on call throughout the week.

    You requested an assistant who could step in periodically for you once trained up sufficiently. We are a small island. Every citizen qualified for Adventure Coordination has been trained and assigned to a particular adventure. No assistants are available in the remaining fluid pool of unemployed workers. Nearly all of them become soldiers.

    You requested to do a different adventure besides The Valiant Little Tailor. We found that specialization best enhances a Coordinator’s production and the production of the soldiers. That is a business practice we do not want to change.

    Rest assured, your efforts are not going unnoticed. All on John Axe island celebrate your returns with loot. Your contributions helped finance many of 1350’s building upgrades. Please know all on this island appreciate your excellent production. Your annual 100% adventure completion rate is stellar.

    Sincerely,

    John Axe
    Mayor

    cc: Ubisoft
    BlueByte

  4. #14
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    Nov 2014
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    Dear Witch of the Swamp,

    Oh how you tormented me! I never wanted to visit you, although my guild encourage me to meet you face to face. But every time, regardless of the coaching and guides and crystal balls, you saw through my defense. My men fell at your feet like you were some type of Siren, when you were really a banshee mixed with Medusa. Only your snakes are limp and hide in your stringy hair. Did I tell you that your feet stink? Like really bad? Then one day someone let me know that your little leaders were sword shy. "They'll let you walk right by", they said. "They're too busy drinking brew and partaking of the special herbs and spices", they said.
    Lo and behold, it was true!! I left the leaders of the pack alone and I took my fight to the people! With persistence, I brought you to your kneeeeees. Now I only have pity for you. You're no longer the bully that took my lollipop... sending my generals back home limping with their tails between their legs. No longer am I hesitant to take you on! Bring it Witchy Poo!

  5. #15
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    Opal Queen

    Dear Lucky Explorer,
    While I love the fact that you return so quickly from your very long searches, the fact that you often return with a single fish platter, a cheese sandwich, or a solid sandwich, shows me that you are not always giving 100% of yourself to your job. If this lackluster continues, you will leave me no other choice then to house you at the far reaches of the Kingdom and ban you from attending all upcoming festivities held in the Tavern.
    Consider this fair warning from Her Royal Highness,
    Opal Queen.

  6. #16
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    Mar 2012
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    Zeus
    Dear Archipelago,

    You are filled with riches and danger. As I slowly inch ever closer to conquer you I realize that I am using a lot of troops. It takes a while to make them and in one foul swoop you swallow them up like they were nothing. I say to you archipelago you make conquering you quite difficult. But what you make in a troop wasteland you make up for in luxurious resources that we couldn't get anywhere else. You provide a white hot love and hatred for you. Thank you archipelago you enrich me

  7. #17
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    Oct 2015
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    Vozzies Island
    One September TwentySixteen


    My Dearest Sir Robin,

    Greetings and salutations to you and yours on this fateful day.

    Let me assure you that I know everything. I now know that you have fled for your life. I will find you. Let the boldness of that statement proclaim the revised hierarchy of my loyalties, priorities and fears.

    Your plot is trumped entire by superior powers at court, and you will not survive this fortnight. My allies are illustrious indeed...Prepare for a slow and painful conclusion and have your affairs in order.


    Kindest Regards,
    the Vozzie

  8. #18
    Mayor Moonlime's Avatar
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    Aug 2012
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    In the Present
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    Letter to Quartermaster Claus

    Dear Quartermaster Claus,

    The day you came running over with your colorful nose, made me think you had lost your green suit to the Quartermaster General.
    When I looked closer at the shiny sleigh, I noticed the pointy nose of your tent had a saying on it that called for your lost green shoes that gave way to your powerful toy cannons that only serve as a smoke screen because in the end, you can only carry and not scream.

    But your soldiers enjoy their smooth ride because it's so quick and they won't fall asleep on the way and lose their might.
    So the one place on my land is reserved for your hand and I hope that you won't feel a bore with all of that green core.

    See you soon.

    Moonlime
    Still around from time to time.

  9. #19
    Recruit
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    Sep 2013
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    Earth, just visiting
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    Zeus

    Letter Writing Day

    General Nash Williams,

    Good day sir, my name is FOTW. You may not remember me, but I served under your command in the battle of Horseback, defending against the Nords, and also when helping the little tailor safely retrieve his three sons.

    I started out as a recruit in our great kingdom’s army 3 years ago. I was moved to the 4th Division Cannoneers a year later, due to my experience working in the powderhut.

    Since then I have been in many conflicts and have loyally served our kingdom.

    It is my hope that you will allow me the honor to be considered a candidate for the Elite Besiegers Brigade.

    Sincerely, FOTW
    Attached Images

  10. #20
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    Aug 2015
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    Dear Jolly Geologist,

    Yippee!!


    Regards
    Reiv

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